The Palmer Bunch

A couple of weeks ago on Project Runway, Michael Kors dated himself by snarking that April's outfit made the model look "like a Robert Palmer girl." Robert Palmer girls show up in three music videos in the mid-to-late 80s: Addicted to Love, I Didn't Mean to Turn You On, and Simply Irresistible. Apparently they were meant to mimic or parody the art of Robert Nagel (if you get your nails done by a manicurist here in the US, look around: the nail shop probably has a Nagel poster in the window or on the wall.) One of the models featured in Addicted to Love said that they were all told to "look and act like showroom mannequins." Apparently a musician tried to teach them how to fake some basic chords on their guitars, but gave up after an hour or so and wandered away.

Very sexy, if you like emotionless clone-zombies!

This vid has been spoofed quite a bit over the years, but my favorite was when Gina Davis hosted Saturday Night Live in 1989. They did a Brady Bunch spoof called "The Palmer Bunch", in which Davis played a Robert Palmer girl who began to break out of her Thorazine funk to attain sentience. "Oh, no! Tippy's experiencing emotion!" ::twitch twitch:: "LOOK, her eyebrow is moving! I'm scared!"

It's POWER BALLAD time, my pretties!

Heart is best known for two songs: Barracuda and Magic Man, but in my fannish little heart, this song held supreme. Seriously, I have no idea why nobody's done a music vid of all the various OTPs to this song--Hutch carrying Starsky out of a burning building, old school Spock grinning at Kirk, the Professionals playing with their guns together, Hobbes yanking Fawkes out of traffic, Blake patting Avon on the shoulder while Avon gives him the fish-eye, whatever. I mean, for crap's sake, people; this is the chorus:

Allies,
With our backs against the wall
I will answer when you call
And take on the odds
For what we believe is true
Allies,
In a world of too much choice
I only need your voice
To tell me you care
I'll be anywhere for you!
ALLIES!

With only slightly over a thousand views, this isn't anybody else's favorite video. This was the best version I could find, and it's a kinda fuzzy, but stick with it to see the final hand porn.

Okay, shut up, THAT USED TO MAKE ME CRY! I can just imagine the casting notes for the guy with the sledgehammer: "We need someone who the audience will know is adorable and trustworthy and is really just the best guy ever the second they get a good look at his open, smiling face. And really built, so his silhouette is scary, if drool-worthy." HE IS SO HAPPY HE FOUND HIS OTP IN ALL THAT SCARY, BOMBED-OUT WRECKAGE, PEOPLE! The fact that they are all about to die of radiation poisoning means nothing, because they found one another and can die in one another's arms. Yeah, that really pushed my buttons back then.

Somebody needs to make me the Ultimate OTP vid to this song. And then they would of course dedicate it to ME, ME, ME because I found the obscure music for them, and I am The Wind Beneath Their Wings! Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now!

::pulls out lighter, waves it in the air slowly::